Again.. Environmental inhibition sucks. Last week I was driving with a colluege learning a new route. When we came to the city we had a long break, and also met some other people driving in the same company. They were new to me since I resently started in the firm. All of the four of them smoked. There I was with four smokers and I got asthma really sensitive to smoke. Oh NO! I thought to myself. I tried to keep distance, but you know when you try to back off and people want to talk and keep following your move to keep the friendly distance? That happened. And I backed even more, they followed, and I backed even more. After a while I thought it is best to tell them I get sick from smoke and why. So I told them, and after that I took a big step back. I tried to keep 3-4 meters between us.
How does that feel?
There I stoud about 3 meters away from them and tried to follow the discussion. With my hearing disability that itself can make it harder. But also one feel a bit like an outsider. Not that they treated me any less, but have to stay back make it harder to partisipate in any discussion and company. It also make me feel like it gets a bit strange. It do not feel as relaxed as it would be if I had not been forced to act like this. I continuly have to be aware of where the smoke goes to not get sick in asthma. And this time the last week there were four of them smoking. Yes, it was outdoors, but it does not help when asthma do not know the difference between indoors and out doors and on top of it there were four of them. I could have left, but I too wanted to get to know my new collueges just as anyone else that starts a new job. If I go away I never get to know anyone. I dodged the smoke bullets, feeling like crap, constantly on the watch for the danger, got sick, backed of even more, and got sick again. Had to check the wind. Where did it go? And then tried to stand so the wind carried the smoke away. It did not. I took even one more step back.
Then it was time for the others to start their route, and they left. I went to the mall and bought some shoes. It was nice to get away from the smoke.
They were ok people, only their smoke was a pain.
Well, well, now that is the way it is to have asthma. Environmental inhibition sucks.