Annelie on asthma, humor, and the world.

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Lifes experiment with the heart

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I have been single for a very long time. And then I found a friend. The friend wanted to become more than a friend. We held hands, and we cuddled in the sofa, and we slept together. Then the friend told me he was not going to be social for 3 whole weeks.

3 weeks became a month.

I felt alone.

He did not contact me like a true boyfriend does.

No nice messages.

No nice words.

No ending words either.

I felt he just stringed me along.

I was starting to getting really sad. And because I was getting really sad I also started to think about what could be wrong?

The thoughts and doubts I put in words to him. He did not answer.
It made me even more sad and upset.
I asked more questions, I put in words for him. He did not answer.
I asked again and over again. He did not answer.

So there I was with a boyfriend who was a boyfriend? Or did he quit the thing he started without a word?

Later he only got mad because I asked so many questions.

But I only asked them because he did not give me any love. I felt alone, I felt sad, I felt ignored, I felt rejected.

He did not see my pain.

I had grown to love him, as I used to believe he loved me.

Then because I felt all sad, lonely and ever so lonely because he was missing. I asked to many questions. Was apparently to sad.

So instead of caring about me.

He kicked me.

It would have been better if he told me he loved me if he really did. Than hurt my heart because he only saw the questions instead of the person behind the questions, that was in pain being alone and neglected.

I asked him to forgive me, for the many doubts.
But he did not.

If I would have been him in this situation and had gotten the questions of doubt if I cared? what he wanted? a.s.o I would have told some words of love to make the pain go away.

But he did not.

Lives experiment with the heart.

People who do not see.

My heart is broken, like so many times before.

I will just give up.

Apparently he did not really love me, becaue he did not really care.

At least he did not show it to me.

And what use do one have of love one do not get?


Author: Annelie

I like canoeing, photographing, friends, movies, food, humor, and going on trips. I dislike rudeness, dishonesty, violence, nastyness, and people not caring for others. I do not drink much, I do not smoke and I do not do drugs. I love friends who are kind to me and stick with me. If you want to give me a gift, the best gift is to stop smoking and stop using fragranced products. Then you give me health and that dear friend, is the best gift a person can get. It is a gift of love. I got asthma and I am hearing disabled.

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